Just in case you needed to know what a Zombie Platypus looks like. Or a Lincon TRex for that matter.

So I’m all about Adam Lambert (you know, like the sheepish Lion?) on Season 8375 of American Idol. I think that bitch can sing his ASS off and if he doesnt win – I’m not exactly sure what the whole competition is about! He SCREAMS Glam Rock to me – I will only be complete if he sings “I believe in a thing called love” before the finale. Lets cross our fingers.

Well we’re watching him belt out Satisfaction to secure his top 12 spot and my mom says “boy I bet he’s gay” and I’m all “No mom! Just because he’s got a glam rock voice and wears tight pants does not mean that he’s gay! Old people are so ignorant! I bet he gets more girls than half the people you know!” Well today I found out that not only does he NOT get more girls than half the people my mom knows but he also likes to kiss men. Foot into mouth – I hate my mother. here I am finding out that my gaydars batteries had completely died…THANKS ADAM.

Well good for him and I have to add that that sexy bitch is a better looking woman than I’ll EVER be. It’s just not fair people who look good as both men and women. It’s just not fair at all (SOB).

Neverland went up for auction…well, all the shit inside. I thought it was neat some of the things this man had, I thought it was even neater how if he had sold 12 of these items he might haven able to afford his mortgage!

Everything’s 20/20 in hindsight.

Among my favorite things up for sale: a train tea kettle, a larger than life superman statue, rhinestone covered socks and the Edward Scissorhands hands! For Serious! I would have bet a mean 4 bucks for that tea kettle. LOVES IT!

So I’m minding my own business and I come across the IHC. The Institute for Human Continuity.

I think, neat, I’ll check it out. Come to find out its all about the end of the world in 2012. They’re having a lottery, sending tickets out. Apparently promising that they will save you if you join the lottery before the world ends. Or something like that…I don’t think they’ve got a secret underground lair so I find it hard to believe they’ll do much to protect me against solar flares, tidal waves and tornadoes. Sorry guys.

If you want to fill out for a lottery ticket….cheeeeck it out.

(or you could realized halfway through writing this post that the site is set up as a teaser site for 2012 – the movie.) Which I must see but will poo in my pants while doing so. CRIPES! You got me sony!

Q:  How often do I pray to the upperups that I’ll get a horribly infectious disease that will ravage my fat cells and somehow make me the skinniest girl on earth while not permanently damaging any of my internal organs or processes??

A:  Allthefuckingtime.

Q: How often do I take pictures when I’m out only to be forced to delete them later because my fattyfatface has ruined/taken up the whole picture?!

A: Prettymucheveryday.

Q: Do I expect crazy contraptions to help me get to my thinnyminyme goal rather than force myself to diet and exercise like a responsible human being??

A: Uh,Duh.

Well, the Japanese have taken one small step towards my goals – The face slimmer.

First bonzai kittens and now bonsai face?! Two treasures in one lifetime?!

I know what people are saying – oh it it’ll just hurt your face and make it hot and sweaty. Well obviously people, until your face slowly over time starts to reshape. It may take 3 years but soon your bones will alter and the fat on your face will melllllllllllt away.
Watch out though. You dont want to take it too far and have (as my friend put it) the Baby Huey effect:

Notice his slim face only makes his body look bigger? This is what you don’t want to happen.

Now, I also need one for my belly. Size larger than large please.

Why not, right? Following the Augmented Reality surge, LEGO has announced that it will be utilizing this technology at all of their toyshops around the world. You take the box you want to buy and place it in the view of the camera and you will be able to see what your model looks like fully assembled. You can also move it and see it from every angle.

This is pretty f’ing unreal. Totally amazing though.

SOURCE.

I’m going to hell for this right??!

Pretty straight forward. You put the towels on the back as such (use body outlines and butt crack for guidance) then start hammering away at my spine on the little red spots using various torture tools and BLAMMO – I can never walk again.

Seriously though, shit looks hot, and I ain’t just talkin’ degrees baby. Rub me down.

build your own squid!

Mine was named Hermes. He was beautiful.

So this is the same section of the USA – one (bottom) is cotton production in 1860 -  over 150 years ago and the other (top) is the voting results from the 2008 elections. See a pattern?

The link between these two maps is not causal, but correlational, and the correlation is African-Americans. Once they were the slaves on whom the cotton economy had to rely for harvesting. Despite an outward migration towards the Northern cities, their settlement pattern now still closely corresponds to that of those days.

I’m not sure why I posted this, I just saw it and its just neat to see.

Strange Maps is the source – go check it out for other random Map related intrigue!