A few random things I’d love to own.
First, in the name of Spring:
Lilypad umbrella via Plasticland. SO ADORABLE. I’d feel like Thumbelina.
Umbrellas for the Civil but discontent Man via LikeCool. I just really dig the sword handles. I know a couple uber nerds who’d die for these.
Chandeliers are always a wonderful option. I have no clue where I found the first one (I tend to sit on pictures) and the second one is $400 from Pottery Barn. I’d never pay that much but DAMN its cute.
LOVE this shelf. I’m all about Pulse Lines. Too hot. I’m loving the green edge.
New Jersey’s Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling is considering a proposal to ban Brazilian bikini waxes.
Crazy right?
Apparently there were TWO women who complained of injuries sustained from wax jobs that put them in the hospital so the board is now making the serious decision. Waxing your crotch has actually always been illegal in the state but the statute wasn’t explicitly spelled. This proposal will make it blatantly clear by outright banning waxing of your genital areas. The board is set to meet, and vote on the ban on Brazilians, on April 14th.
If you live in Jersey you might want to book one before then…might be gone for a long time.
I personally find this a bit ridiculous. Ain’t no one telling me I cant wax if I want to wax. I suppose I’d just drive into NY once every 2 months to get it done. Sounds like the only logical idea to me. Or burn down where the vote will be held. That would work too.
Just in case you needed to know what a Zombie Platypus looks like. Or a Lincon TRex for that matter.
Detective notes on The Chris Brown and Rihanna Fight. This shit is terrifying.
“Christopher B and Robyn F have been involved in a dating relations for approx 1 and half year. On Sunday Feb 8 at 25 hours Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robin F picked brown,s cellular phone and picked up a three-page text message from a woman Brown had had a previous relationship with.
“A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled a vehicle over in an unknown street. Reach over Robyn F with his right hand and open the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the vehcile causing an approx 1 inch raised circular contusion.
“Robyn F turned to face Brown and punched her in the left eye with right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F Osmouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle. Brown looked at Robyn F and stated “I am going to beat the s–t out of you when we get home! You wait and see!?
“Robyn F picked her cellular phone and called her personal assistant Jennifer Rosales. Rosales did not answer the telephone but while her vm greeting was playing Robyn F pretended to talk to her and stated “I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there? (this statement was made while greeting was playing and was not captured) after Robyn f faked the call, Brown and looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I really am going to kill you.’
“Brown resumed punching Robyn F and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist placing her elbows and face near her lap and in attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied by Brown. Brown continued to punch Robyn F on her left arm and hands, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps that was approx 2 inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand. Robyn f attempted to send another text message to other personal assistant Melissa Ford. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window to an unknown street. Brown continued driving and Robyn F observed his cellular phone in his lap. She picked up the cellular phone with her left hand, and before she could make a call, he placed her in a head lock with right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.
“Brown held Robyn F close to him and bit her on her left hear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of [address] and Robyn F turned off the car removed the key from inignition and sat on it. Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F left and right carotid arteries causing her to be unable to breath. She began to lose consciousness. She reached up with her left hand and began to attempting to gauge his eyes in attempt to flee herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and released her. While brown continued to punch her she turned around a place her back to against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest and placed her feet against Brown,s body and began pushing him away.
“Brown continued to punch her on legs and feet causing several contusions. Robyn F began screaming for help. And Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighbor heard Robyn F,s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F was issued a domestic violence protective order (EPO). Affiant conducted an interview with Melissa Ford who advised on Feb. 8 2009 at 2500 hours she received a phone call from Robin F from an unknown telephone number later identified as the telephone number of Officer Chavez. Robin F had advised Ford that she had been assaulted by Brown. At approx at 1 am Brown called Ford as nothing happened. Ford advised Brown that she had already talked to Robin F and was aware of what happened. Ford had advised brown that the neighbors had called police and that they were with Robyn F. Brown had asked Ford if robin F had provided police with his name. And ford advised him that she had. Brown hung up the telephone and did not call back.
“On Feb. 8, Brown turned himself in and was given a copy of the EPO and advised to not contact Robyn.
“On Feb. 17 Ford advised the affiant that she had received text messages from … a number that Ford recognized as belonging to Brown. In the text message Brown apologized for what he had done to Robin F. and advised Ford he was going to get help.”
I figure if this is one more place this can be posted maybe everyone wont forget what a monster this guy is just because Rihanna went back to him. Thats what battered women do people – it doesnt mean what he did was ok.
Look hard. You’ll find it.
A photo editor was fired over this. I’m not sure why. I mean…its true!
Coastline Rings. You can send in ANY coastline and they’ll make it a ring.
So and so of Whatsittown, USA has been horribly offended recently. Why you ask? She innocently bought a bag of Aldies Potato Chips and got a big surprise at snacktime.
“That night, she opened one bag and was absent-mindedly grabbing handfuls of chips while reading the newspaper when she felt something hard. ‘Your heart just kind of jumps,’ she said. She reached in and grabbed a blue and silver Nokia phone, she said.”
So she finds a phone in her chips. The report says the woman teetered between laughter and disgust the entire interview. She called the company, they apologized and offered a new bag of chips. Apparently she isnt happy with that offer. She says she’s put off chips for a while and never again will she eat chips without first dumping them into a bowl. Let me be the first to tell you – I bet that bitch has already had some chips. She looks like they’re a top priority at mealtime. Best side dish you can find this side of the swamp!
Personally if I found a phone in a bag of chips I’d see if it still worked. If it did, I’d be calling people to freak them out. Either that or I would be weirded out for a hot minute, laugh hysterically, blog about it (cause I’m lame) and then just go out and buy another bag of chips…I mean seriously. Who the fuck cares, they were probably 99 cents! It’s not like she had a lobster dinner with a fucking finger in it.
So I stumble across Bladerunner.tv. This site is nutso, every article of clothing defends you from some sort of threat whether it be stabbing, bullets or just the cold! I’m digging the merch, sweet style.
First – Denim Jacket and sweet mint vest.
“The jacket has a level IIIA bullet-proof lining cleverly sewn into the inside. Perfect for casual wear this jacket offers all round protection against everything up to, and including, .44 magnum.” – $660.00
“The vest has a combination of both excellent stopping power and low blunt trauma effect. The waistcoat can easily be worn under a jacket without anyone being aware of its protective capabilities. The waistcoat will protect against anything up to a .357 magnum and some .44 magnum rounds.” – $676.60
Second – The Bulletproof Hoodie and the Basic Black Jacket
“The hoodie has 2mm of Type IIA bulletproofing, enough to stop a 9mm full-metal-jacket round at a velocity of 1,090 feet-per-second.” - $600.00 *Hood is not bulletproof. Lets hope whoever is shooting at you has NO aim!*
“The Jacket is, without doubt, the best disguised bullet/stab-proof jacket we have ever come across. You won’t find it anywhere else and you will never find a protective jacket as smart as this one. The protection levels it offers are quite unheard of in such a light (3 kgs) and discreet jacket. This jacket offers a protection level to NIJ STD 0101.04 level 111A. The armour protects against 9mm Full Metal Jacket Round Nose (FMJRN) projectiles, with a weight of 8gm (124gr) at 430 m/s. Full Metal Jacket Round Nose (FMJRN) type DM11A1B2 (DN or MEN) projectiles with a weight of 8gm (124gr) at 415m/s. 44 Magnum jacketed Soft Point (JSP) type Norma 11103/61103 projectiles with a weight of 15.6gm (158gr) at 390 m/s. 44 Magnum Jacketed Hollow Point (JHP) projectiles with a weight of 15.6gm (240gr) at 430 m/s. Eastern European Tokarev LC 7.62 x 25mm steel core projectile with a weight of 5.5gm at 455 m/s. This jacket also protects against stabs, cuts, slashes with sharp and blunt edged weapons like hypodermic needles, ice picks, knives and broken bottles up to 33 Joules.” – $761.70
Hot Shit. Now, should you not have the money to afford such Defensive gear, you could always try to keep potential attackers at bay with the safest outfit EVER to wear:
Complete with mesh eyeholes should you want to keep the hood zipped for EFFECT.
*Boy Wonder Sidekick NOT included. $74
Britney Spears new tour commenced last night! She withheld the crazy for 2 hours! That’s some sort of new record. Although, I will tell you she looks dead behind the eyes in most of these pictures. Reviews of the concert arent amazing – They said Britney looked like she didn’t want to be there, there was less dancing and more WALKING AROUND, and that she forgot to lip sync some of the words to her songs. I mean why bother? She knows we know she knows we know that she’s mouthing that shit. Why should she even have to pretend. Just play that crap on blast and let her waddle around the stage for a while. Totally worth the $325 standing floor tickets!!
Her outfits make me want to scratch my eyes out. I mean, if you think about it, for sitting VIP floor tickets you’d be paying $550 to be next to the stage and watch someone who is completely vacant lip sync 2 hours of songs in horrendous outfits – that doesn’t make much sense. I’ll tell you what, pay me $50 and I’ll sing you every track off Toxic while prancing around in the latest lingerie from Hot Topic. It’s the low budget version.
Can I just say my two favorite outfits are tights with undies showing through (whether or not its on purpose) and classy mcboobie tassles down in the left corner. Yeah…very hot…or something like that.
