Diddy puts the “dick” in “egotistical maniac”

This is posted on YouTube – You can find it, I refuse to link that shit to my page

Diddy, sadly enough, has finally realized our nations gas crisis. I’d like to say thank jeebus he has noticed because now we have to solve it…I mean, if our god and savior has begun to feel the pinch of the horrible state of our economy…then we know it will be fixed. What will happen if we don’t?! WHAT WOULD DIDDY DO?! Probably get to the studio at 8, work for a solid hour on a melody that has the beat of offshore drilling and the lyrical intensity of exploring alternative fuel options, then post a youtube rant about how there is no solution to our gas crisis.

Below is his rant and now, the travesty of having to fly…(gasp) commercial.

Gas prices are too motherfucking high. As you know, I do own my own jet and I have been having flying back and forth to LA pursuing my acting career. Now, if I’m flying back and forth, like, twice in a month that’s like $200,000 or $250,000 round trip. FUCK that. I’m back on American Airlines right now. Ok? Your boy Diddy right now is on American Airlines. Look. I want to give a shout out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil, if you could all please send me some oil for my jet I would truly appreciate it. But right now, can you believe it, I am actually flying commercial. That’s how high gas prices are ok, so I feel you. Look, I’m at the gate right now. This is proof that gas prices are too high, we need to do something about it, so tell whoever the next president is that we need to bring gas back down.”

I shit you fucking not. Listen Obama and McCain – we gotta get this on LOCKDOWN for the Didster. Make that priority NUMERO UNO. Personally, I think we should all start a fund where we can send our spare change/lunch money/rent money/child support/college funds/401Ks to him so that he can continue making the world a lamer better place through his crappy amazing music! I dont even want to think of a future that doesn’t have Sean Combs on the big screen, touching us all with his god given ability to act. Seriously though – where is a rich oil millionaire slut when you need one? He could just play him “Special Feeling” and off would be the clothes and I’m sure the money would follow.

I’d like to write a letter to Diddy letting him know that his tragic story has made me forget all about the fact that MY ass can’t even afford a plane ticket to go visit my friend in California commercial! Who am I but the little people? I’ve also been able to forget that the 250,000K he probably has already spent in gas this year could have fed thousands of children all over the world or saved the life of countless people who cant afford health insurance. Thank you for making me see the light, Mr. Puffy, PuffDaddy, PDiddy, Shitface MaGee, Diddy, Sean Combs.

…I may have the answer to his predicament. Has he tried plugging himself into his private jet? I’m sure it can run on his ego alone.”


~ by Mathy Shoots People on August 27, 2008.

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