Saga de la Iphone.

Oh to be young and careless.

Last night I thought I lost my celly for serious.

Lets set the scene…
The night starts out on the wrong foot when, en route to Marc and Eric’s house, I notice that I somehow managed to get out of the shower, get dressed and leave the house without fully washing the conditioner out of my hair. My hair was a greaseball of doom and I had JUST taken a shower. Bah! I get there and immediately have to rinse my hair in the sink…to no avail. I say whatchever and decide to not even deal with it and pull it back. I eat some pizza and we head to Moe’s to watch the Redskins game.

At Moe’s I might have drank a bit more than necessary. It was a slightly stressful night already (why reddyskinnys?! WHY?!) and I hadn’t eaten anything for dinner…bad combination. SO I’m outside talking to this guy Jason  (yes, pusher downer. I know, what can I say, I’m the Florence Nightingale of Dating) and MattyB goes to (I guess) hug me and make a joke about kissing my neck. Well as he’s lunging at me, I decide to take a step back to avoid him but he still managed to snake his arms around my neck and grab me. As soon as I noticed he had me in a bear hug, I also noticed we were falling. Insert loud thud to the ground, mulch in my hair, purse flung into trees, utter and complete embarrassment in front of a guy who just said he loved freckles (swoon)…I mean, it was a fucking mess. I’m the queen of awkward, MattyB just helped bring it out this time.

So Jason helps me up and MattyB and I suffered no serious injuries that didn’t involve our pride (except my back is kinda f-rocked today. I’m not sure if it’s related). We drive BACK to Marc and Eric’s where I got to play a sweet game of Uno with the guys – they’re hilarious. Matty even helped but couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of Uno in his state of utter inebriation…so he slept. Eventually we went to leave and I reach into my purse and GONE! My Iphone is missing and I start freaking out. Then I remember the tackle of the century. We check Marc and Eric’s and then make the sad realization that we’ll have to drive back to the bar at 2 in the morning to search for my phone. The drive was tense and quiet and I really wanted to drive my car off a cliff. Of course, when we get there, we find my cell phone case just randomly sitting in the dirt but no sign of the phone.

We call it and it still rings but we cant hear it. If it was at Marc and Eric’s then it would have absolutely no service thanks to the black void that rests just above their house sucking away connection to civilization. This leads me to assume the worst and think it was there at Moe’s, someone called, a stranger heard it and took it home with them. Wamp fucking Wamp. We also went and checked Marc and Eric’s again and then my car…all for nothing. I pass out last night and wake up bright and early with, what I think to be, a broken spine.

I drive Matty to his car and have the overwhelming urge to see Moe’s in the sunlight. So I go. I climb into a bush and immediately find my mascara…I start searching more frantically because I can practically taste it – my phone just waiting to be found. Finally I dismount from the worlds largest bush and crawl around to the other side of it and low and behold…my phone.

Sitting there mocking me, face down on vibrate.

F you apple. F you perfect phone. F you and your hold on me. I thought I would get the shakes soon from withdraw if I didn’t find it.


I now am twice as confused about the lady bug I found in a cup 2 weeks ago. I can safely assume that the luck was not for myself…and clearly if it was for the Redskins they are choosing not to use it – can I get a spoonful or something?

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~ by Mathy Shoots People on September 5, 2008.

2 Responses to “Saga de la Iphone.”

  1. Thanks for posting the article, was certainly a great read!

  2. Excellent work – keep it up!!

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