Aren’t all actors overpaid?

Forbes put out their annual list of the 10 Most Overpaid Movie Stars in Hollywood and I figured I’d share my views…because everyone likes my opinion!!

They came up with the top 10 by looking at the stars last three major movies. They compared the salary with the movie’s profits (if there were any).
They didn’t count supporting roles, limited releases or movies where the paycheck was less than $5 million.

1. Nicole Kidman – $10-15 million a film – For every dollar she was paid, her movies averaged $1 of gross income.
I really like Nicole Kidman, I don’t care what anyone says. I think she has great taste in movies and I will continue to see hers. I think she should be a top earner. I also used to think she was the most beautiful woman in Hollywood….then botox came around and her face stopped moving…WHY NICOLE?! Last three films: Invasion, The Golden Compass and Margot at the Wedding. I liked Invasion, GC’s only saving moment was a polar bear getting its Jaw ripped off and I never saw Margot because I hate Jack Black…although he’s growing on me…maybe I’ll give it a shot.
2. Jennifer Garner – $10.50 an hour during filming – For every dollar she was paid, her movies averaged $3.60 of gross income.
I cant believe she wasn’t number one. Last three films: Catch and Release, Elektra and 13 going on 30. Hahaha. Oh so obviously bad. I’d hide in a hole if I were her. I dislike her face with a fervor. I think it all stems from someone forcing me to go see 13 Going on 30 with them and her baby voice and scrunched up nose just wanted to make me shoot myself right there in the theatre. I compare how I feel seeing that movie as how I felt when I saw House of 1000 Corpses: terrified, disoriented and begging for salvation.
3. Tommy Cruise – $30 million a film – For every crazy dollar crazy was paid, his crazy movies averaged $4 of crazy gross income.
I think the last movie of his I liked was Far and Away…wait I lied. I liked Minority Report…and Tropic Thunder, but not because of his big hairy hands and dancing. He was too vulgar for me, too overdone. Anyways, he’s leaving on a spaceship headed for Xenu’s hometown here in a hot minute, Suri has a destiny to fulfill. Last three movies? Lions for Lambs, MI3 and War of the Worlds...I can see it, I’m surprised by WoW – I thought that did really well. Maybe how bad LfL did dragged the average down…?
4. Cameron Diaz – $15+ million a film – For every dollar she was paid, her movies averaged $4 of gross income.
So I guess I’m just resentful of bitches who are making that much for 3 months of work when they aren’t even good at what they do. There is no way someone can look me in the eyes and tell me that girl is a good actress. Even in Shrek you could hear how bad she was at acting in her VOICE…I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE!  Last three films were: The Holiday, In Her Shoes and What Happens in Vegas. Yep, all shitty films, I should know, I wasted my money on all but WHIV (that I paid a dollar for). I’m also pissed she’s going to ruin My Sisters Keeper.
5. Jennifer Lopez – $9 million a film – For every dollar she was paid, her movies averaged $4.10 of gross income.
Washed up. Has been. No music career or acting career to speak of. Take your skelator husband and head on off into the distance. bye bye. Last three Films? An Unfinished Life, El Caliante and Monster in Law…did any of those even turn a profit? Probably not.
6. Jim Carrey – $25 million a film – For every dollar he was paid, his movies averaged $4.11 of gross income.
I like him. So you all can fuck off. Come on – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was EPIC. The last three he did were Number 23, Horton Hears a Who, Fun with Dick and Jane….?!?!?!…..Those were all GEMS!   ….and yes I’m completely serious. I can honestly say I’ve seen 8 of his last 10 movies in the theatre and liked them. First one I’m baffled by why they are on this list.
7. Nicolas Cage – $20 million a film – For every dollar he was paid, his movies averaged $4.16 of gross income.
Oh Nicolas…where are the days of It could happen to you or Family Man or CITY OF ANGELS?! Everything after Wicker Man I just refuse to see. “My legs! WHY ARE YOU BREAKING MY LEGS?!” Seriously? He is one of my sad stories, watching a decent actor slowly just shit all over everything that made them decent in the first place by picking ridiculous movies that have no storyline or entertainment value whatsoever (ala Bankock Dangerous). It makes me want to cry for him, but then again – he’s doing it to himself. Last three Films? Next, National Treasure: Book of Secrets and Ghost Rider.
8. Drew Barrymore – $15 million a film -For every dollar she was paid, her movies averaged $4.38 of gross income.
I don’t see her being on this list as possible. I love her, she will forever be my favorite actress because if I had a film about my life, I would want her to play me. Now, if we look at her last 3 films: Curious George, Lucky You and Music and Lyrics…its very obvious why she was on the list, three frickin duds….wait, I liked Music and Lyrics!
9. Will Ferrell – $20 million a film – For every dollar he was paid, his movies averaged $4.67 of gross income.
I can see it. What were his last three movies? Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro and Step Brothers? Yeah, I can see why he’s on the list. Hilarious comedian but really really not being picky enough about his on screen choices. Step Brothers was the best of the three but wasn’t impressive – relied too much on vulgarity and went over the top with stupidity. If you are going to give us shit for our money Will, just go ahead and poop in a bunch of boxes and mail it to us, don’t make us waste an hour and a half of our lives on top of it.
10. Cate Blanchett – $7+ million a film – For every dollar she was paid, her movies averaged $4.97 of gross income.
I seriously respect the pants off this woman. I think she could act her way out of anything and honestly puts most of these 15 mil a movie bitches to shame. She’s classically trained and can pull of just about anything. Her last three movies? Indiana Jones, I’m Not Here and Elizabeth: The Golden age. Well, if Indy wasn’t included (I don’t see how it could be, otherwise there is no way she could be on here) then Notes on a Scandal would be the third. I can see it though. Her movies are period pieces, serious dramas or specific movies about specific events or people that you have to be interested in to go see. She doesn’t do romantic comedies, horror films or general movies you see and decide to give a chance because you like those types of films…if that makes sense. She’s more of a cult following kinda movie person.

Pffhhhoooey.



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~ by Mathy Shoots People on September 11, 2008.

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