I’m so fucking sorry MOMMY DEAREST!!

bite-counter

I mean all I’m saying is a bite counter is one step away from your mother sitting next to you clicking a counter every single time you chew. “30 times?? FOR SISSIES! No daughter of mine is a sissy! Try 30 times…ON EACH SIDE!! MUHAHAHAHA” Next thing you know you’re in the chewing Olympics and have no friends because wearing it to school made everyone hate you. Were they jealous? Probably not, scared is more of an appropriate word for their feelings about this situation she has going on around her face.

Regardless, this thing is basically just redheaded stepchild headgear. I dont like it and that little Asian girl creeps me out. Keep smiling biatch. Keep on smiling.


Source

Um, what really gets my goat is that it beeps after 30 bites/chews and then again after 1000. Isn’t that a ridiculous jump? I mean…is it used for diets as well or do some Asian parents actually have their kids chewing their meat 1000 times?! Dear god they don’t need nukes! They’ll rip us apart with their jowls!!

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~ by Mathy Shoots People on November 17, 2008.

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