Um. Thanks Science?

So science has gone and proven two incredible theories this week.

First, it found the unbelievable correlation between drinking and (gasp) having sex!!

Some Scientists were paid entirely too much to study the sex lives of people who got drunk regularly – they now know that doing so can result in “risky sex”.

Is it just me or is anyone else ridiculously glad that these people make so much money to point out things to me that I never would have known EVER just by flicking on a TV, listening to my friends slutty stories, hearing a rap song or (dare I say it?) going out and getting drunk myself!

That’s graph, if you look at it closely, slaps you in the face because you’re retarded for even needing to see a graph to know that getting drunk lowers your inhabitions. Morons.

do you need the source?


The second insane theory proven was that Cocaine makes you annoying and erratic!! OH MY GOD!!!! You shut your mouth science. You shut it right now.

I wouldn’t know this to be true from my own personal experience – never tried it, never will (if I tried coke even once, I’d be a goner because of my lovely addictive personality) – but I can tell you that its not annoying at all to have someone telling you a story 2 inches from your face spitting and screaming about “WHAT A FUCKING GREAT TIME IT WAS BUT I WAS SO PARANOID MANNNNNN!!!” Or them getting the need to dance by flailing their limbs in a spastic manner at any woman/man that comes in their general direction, scaring more than actually securing. I had NO clue that people who did coke tended to be off the wall and abrasive!

Again, why even bother with a source?

Thanks Science. Continue on proving the unknown truths in life – next up: smoking pot gives you the munchies!! I know, sounds like you couldn’t possibly connect the two but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that they are more related then you think…



~ by Mathy Shoots People on January 7, 2009.

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