Protection. For really realz.


These are the Blast Knuckles. They are $50 and provide a 950,000V electric shock to the bitch you hit upside their face piece with them. The device is said to be capable of stunning someone to the point of incapacitating them for at least 5 to 10 minutes. Wow, maybe I feel safer walking to my car at night with this on my fist. Maybe.

I see my brother making my life miserable by getting this. I say something snotty – taze. I cough during a movie – taze. I wont get my dance on at the bar – taze. I start to speak – taze…you see the pattern? My life will be viciously controlled by electric knuckles.

…has family guy ruined the word knuckles for anyone else? I feel dirty as shit when I say it.


~ by Mathy Shoots People on January 8, 2009.

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