Men, like always, are retarded.’s Top 99 Most Desirable Women is an annual list compiled by AM readers and staff, ranking the famous females deemed to be the year’s most alluring. Readers are asked to look beyond sex appeal and beauty to pick women who have the characteristics they value in a potential companion, like intelligence, humor, charisma, and ambition. The result is a list that acts as the definitive gauge for identifying what modern men desire most in their female companions.

Uh, yeah – a hot body. Seriously.

Here is a peek at how stupid men are:

Meghann Fox is 2. (“Although just 22 years old, Megan Fox impresses us to no end, from her staggeringly killer body to her daydream-inducing supermodel face.”)
Marissa Miller is 3.
Keeley Hazell is 4. (“(She) comes from a working-class suburb of London and barely finished high school. To most people, that biography would be a precursor to an ordinary career, but she just happens to be blessed with 32DD-26-32 measurements“)
Anne Hathaway is 5.
Scarlet Johannson is 7
Rihanna is 8.
Kristen Bell is 9.
Heidi Klum is 11.
Jessica Alba is 15.
Jessica Biel is 16. (on the site they outright say “her career has gone nowhere” since 7th heaven).
Bianca Beauchamp is 24.
Charlize Theron is 26.
Gisele Bundchen is 28.
Angelina Jolie is 42.
Beyonce is 50.
Aishwara Rai is 60.
Vanessa fucking Hudgens is 61.
Olivia Munn is 62. (Love her)
Audrina Patridge is 68!!!!!!!
Jessica Simpson is 70.
Anna Feris is 78.
Katherine Heigl is 81.
Britney Spears is 90.
Elizabeth Banks is 95.
Tina Fey is 97.
Kate Winslet is 99.

This list is insane. To me its almost backwards except for a few.

– Crazy Britney Spears shouldn’t even touch the list – she does what her daddy tells her to and she isnt even talented but I’ll let that go because she’s 90.
– Kate Winslet gets the snub of being 99 when she could out converse, act and BREATHE half these girls.
– Vanessa Hudgens?? Really??
– Meghan Fox isn’t a bad 2 – Lord knows she cant act but she seems funny and normal and I cant hate her for that.
– Heidi Klum (who is actually ambitious and worth something to the world) and Charlize Theron would be higher on my list. I mean, how is someone who works with the United Nations and a woman who has a multimillion dollar empire passed her modeling career be below a woman who is famous for her FETISH site (B. Beauchamp)?!? That really is more “ambitious” than political involvement and all over class?
– Jessica Miseralba being 15 and Jessica Biel being 16 – both of which the site physically says their careers are dead in the water and its just their looks that keep people interested. They’re only there because they’re hot and personally Charlize and Heidi blow them both out of the water in that aspect too.
– Also to have (dear god I’m going to defend her) Angelina Jolie who is also very well spoken, has half a brain and is involved in world affairs at 42? It just doesn’t make sense.
– And will SOMEONE tell me what Audrinia “I’m the stupidest bitch that ever lived” Patridge was doing on here?! Seriously guys?!

I wouldn’t have an issue with this list if it was put out as a  HOT WOMEN of ’09 list but the people who did it outright claim it shouldn’t be based off looks. Yet, they constantly discuss the physical attributes of these women (even when they aren’t talented ala ScarJo – I love her to death but we have to be honest here). I was sad to see there were very few athletes (who physically work hard for what they do), no writers, designers or comedians. The top 20 was filled with models, women who are paid to be beautiful and rarely talk. I suppose that when it comes down to it, this just proves that men, no matter what they claim to look for in a woman, prefer her to be sexy over intelligent, skinny over talented and most importantly: the most they want their “potential partner” to contribute to the world is a hot sex scene in a movie or the ability to wear a bikini down a runway.

For fucking shame. (oh and don’t think I don’t know I sound like a fat, ugly, bitter bitch.)



~ by Mathy Shoots People on January 23, 2009.

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