Redneck Prom Ride.

I’ve long thought limos were an easy way to spot out the hoity-toity upper crust of school dance attendees. Well f that old “if you cant beat em, join em” because the trailer park totally won, people.


Introducing the worlds first open-wheel Formula 1-style racecar limo!! It carries six passengers at a time and can reach up to 300mph. Of course for prom with the open top we’ll have to keep it under 180. TammyLynne JUST bleached her hair and there is still the chance with too much wind it’ll all come out (and “hell no she ain’t wearin one of them damn helmets”). Guthro is pounding Natty Ice in the back while feeling up SueEllen who is already pregnant twice over. LorettaFaye made her dress out of duct-tape so there isn’t a real worry in her mind over the wind, only one word: CLASS. BobbyJoe will hold his hand outside the car and makes air waves only to look back at the road behind them and state – “I feel infinite.”

I could just see them pulling up and jumping out (no need to have the door opened), throwing off their WB character jackets, finishing their Burger King and cackling into the sky. Somethin’ tells me this is the first school function Bucky WONT get kicked out of…not tonight, not after that sweet ride.


~ by Mathy Shoots People on January 26, 2009.

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