And sometimes dreams do come true.

Q:  How often do I pray to the upperups that I’ll get a horribly infectious disease that will ravage my fat cells and somehow make me the skinniest girl on earth while not permanently damaging any of my internal organs or processes??

A:  Allthefuckingtime.

Q: How often do I take pictures when I’m out only to be forced to delete them later because my fattyfatface has ruined/taken up the whole picture?!

A: Prettymucheveryday.

Q: Do I expect crazy contraptions to help me get to my thinnyminyme goal rather than force myself to diet and exercise like a responsible human being??

A: Uh,Duh.

Well, the Japanese have taken one small step towards my goals – The face slimmer.

face_slimmer

First bonzai kittens and now bonsai face?! Two treasures in one lifetime?!

I know what people are saying – oh it it’ll just hurt your face and make it hot and sweaty. Well obviously people, until your face slowly over time starts to reshape. It may take 3 years but soon your bones will alter and the fat on your face will melllllllllllt away.
Watch out though. You dont want to take it too far and have (as my friend put it) the Baby Huey effect:
huey
Notice his slim face only makes his body look bigger? This is what you don’t want to happen.

Now, I also need one for my belly. Size larger than large please.

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~ by Mathy Shoots People on February 2, 2009.

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