I would have been murdered by my husband if I was a housewife in the 50s.

This interesting article really cleared up a few things for me on how to be a better housewife to my future husband.

good-housekeeping_ybnby

Such favorites as:

  • Have Dinner Ready.
  • Prepare yourself…take 15 mins to get refreshed!
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.
  • Clear away the clutter.
  • Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by…after all, catering to his comfort will provide YOU with immense personal satisfaction.
  • Encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be Happy to see him.
  • Listen to him…Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  • Make the evening his…try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  • Dont greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Dont complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night! Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  • Make him comfortable…have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Dont ask him questions about his actions or his judgements or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.

…anyone else notice it started getting a little intense at the end? Start off with easy silly stuff and end it on a high note: Be thankful for your husband, without him you’d surely be a lonely dried up spinster and trust me ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN BEING A SPINSTER!!

Oh! I forgot the the last few bulletins:

  • Unclog your ears. Never make your husband repeat a request twice.
  • When meeting your husbands mistress (likely his secretary or one of your close friends), do not confront nor embarrass your husband. Remember, he is in control and because he has a penis, he makes the rules.
  • Should your insubordination result in bruises, always keep stocked on long sleeve shirts, sunglasses, hats and pants – you wouldn’t want to be embarrassed should anyone see that you obviously couldn’t follow simple instructions!
  • When performing “love making” be sure to satisfy all your husband’s needs. Should you begin to feel pleasure yourself – change the position to one that would be more gratifying for him. Surely he doesn’t want to see his wife enjoying herself – he wants to keep her blissfully unaware of what real pleasure is! How else would he keep her trapped in a loveless marriage? To put it short: You would be doing yourself a disservice by servicing yourself.
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~ by Mathy Shoots People on February 11, 2009.

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