Dumb slut finds cell phone in bag of chips. I report it as news.

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So and so of Whatsittown, USA has been horribly offended recently. Why you ask? She innocently bought a bag of Aldies Potato Chips and got a big surprise at snacktime.

“That night, she opened one bag and was absent-mindedly grabbing handfuls of chips while reading the newspaper when she felt something hard. ‘Your heart just kind of jumps,’ she said. She reached in and grabbed a blue and silver Nokia phone, she said.”

So she finds a phone in her chips. The report says the woman teetered between laughter and disgust the entire interview. She called the company, they apologized and offered a new bag of chips. Apparently she isnt happy with that offer. She says she’s put off chips for a while and never again will she eat chips without first dumping them into a bowl. Let me be the first to tell you – I bet that bitch has already had some chips. She looks like they’re a top priority at mealtime. Best side dish you can find this side of the swamp!

Personally if I found a phone in a bag of chips I’d see if it still worked. If it did, I’d be calling people to freak them out. Either that or I would be weirded out for a hot minute, laugh hysterically, blog about it (cause I’m lame) and then just go out and buy another bag of chips…I mean seriously. Who the fuck cares, they were probably 99 cents! It’s not like she had a lobster dinner with a fucking finger in it.

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~ by Mathy Shoots People on March 4, 2009.

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